Well... it's not exactly deep cover if you tell people your Secret Identity.
As for not telling Theo she's genetically Korval, i think about it this way: An onagrata relationship on Delgado is more like a contract marriage (if that), and certainly not a lifemating. And the relationship - whether to initiate it, how involved it is, how long it lasts, whether there are children - is totally up to the female.
In a contract marriage, it would be spelled out in the contract which parent's clan the child went to and became a part of, and the other parent would most likely not have any role in the child's life, perhaps not even be known to the child. Or there might be some relationship, but that's not expected or really common, it seems. The other parent, having done their marital duty, is outside the child's clan and has no say. Maybe the healers even blur their memory so they don't miss their child so much.
With this as Daav's cultural background for parenting in a contract rather than lifemating situation, and with Kamele clearly the parent who, legally and socioculturally on Delgado, has the child in her care (i'm trying not to talk about possession or ownership, though it does seem to arise) - wouldn't he naturally and appropriately see Theo as _belonging_ to Kamele and her 'clan' (her world/culture/identity), and not to him and his?
Another case in point - remember Er Thom and Anne's major cultural confusions about Shan's legal status. Literally, who did he belong to, Anne or Clan Korval? Because Anne named him yos'Galan, he belonged to Korval. To Er Thom and Daav, that was blatantly obvious and unchangeable once done, while to Anne it made no sense, had no context - and she a scholar of the Liaden language besides. If she'd named him Davis, despite the genes Er Thom wouldn't have felt he had the same kind of claim, if any.
So it's not surprising that Daav was so hands-off in these regards - Theo is Kamele's child and not, legally, of his clan. Even though genetically she's all that.
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As for not telling Theo she's genetically Korval, i think about it this way: An onagrata relationship on Delgado is more like a contract marriage (if that), and certainly not a lifemating. And the relationship - whether to initiate it, how involved it is, how long it lasts, whether there are children - is totally up to the female.
In a contract marriage, it would be spelled out in the contract which parent's clan the child went to and became a part of, and the other parent would most likely not have any role in the child's life, perhaps not even be known to the child. Or there might be some relationship, but that's not expected or really common, it seems. The other parent, having done their marital duty, is outside the child's clan and has no say. Maybe the healers even blur their memory so they don't miss their child so much.
With this as Daav's cultural background for parenting in a contract rather than lifemating situation, and with Kamele clearly the parent who, legally and socioculturally on Delgado, has the child in her care (i'm trying not to talk about possession or ownership, though it does seem to arise) - wouldn't he naturally and appropriately see Theo as _belonging_ to Kamele and her 'clan' (her world/culture/identity), and not to him and his?
Another case in point - remember Er Thom and Anne's major cultural confusions about Shan's legal status. Literally, who did he belong to, Anne or Clan Korval? Because Anne named him yos'Galan, he belonged to Korval. To Er Thom and Daav, that was blatantly obvious and unchangeable once done, while to Anne it made no sense, had no context - and she a scholar of the Liaden language besides. If she'd named him Davis, despite the genes Er Thom wouldn't have felt he had the same kind of claim, if any.
So it's not surprising that Daav was so hands-off in these regards - Theo is Kamele's child and not, legally, of his clan. Even though genetically she's all that.