So, I could just take something that UofM held the patent for and claim it was mine because it was too much work to get permission?

I'm guessing.

And! The next time you're in a restaurant and you pass a table that has a bunch of dirty dishes on it and a couple of bills? You can pick up the money, because clearly it doesn't belong to anyone, or it wouldn't just be sitting on the table like that. And if a waitress or waiter protests, tell them it's their responsibility to provide proof in writing that the money was their tip.