So the Feds Are Bailing Out the Banks

As you know, Bob, the Federal Government is working like a lunatic thing to shore up the mortgage industry. You may have asked yourself, as I have, where they're coming up with the money in these lean times, having already spent every dime in the treasury.

Well.

Let me tell you a story.

Eighteen years ago, Steve and I "bought a house" as the saying goes. What we actually did, of course, was Acquire a Mortgage. Because we live 'way out in the country, we got ours with what was then called the Rural Housing Service of the federal government.

This mortgage has many idiosyncracies, as you might expect from a government program. For instance, payments are tied directly to income-before-expenses, reviewed annually. Every year, I get to educate a new "counselor" on the realities of freelance incomes. Also, because of the income-before-expenses side of things, it's a little hard to, how shall I say this, save money. But, hey, it's our mortgage, and no one else was stoopid enough to take on a couple of freelancers, so we love it for the ugly child it is.

Yesterday, we got a letter in the mail from Rural Housing, which now sports some highfalutin alphabetsoup name. We have...

...wait for it...

We have...

90 days (from the date of the letter) to refinance our house

Yes! On top of everydamnotherthing we have to do before June 1, now we have to figure out how to refinance an elderly raised ranch located in the heart of Central Maine in the middle of a housing slump.

Because, yanno, the government needs money. NOW.


...if you want me for any little thing, I'll be hiding under the bed.