I Don't Understand Humans, Chapter Ten Thousand

[rolanni]

So, I was virtuous and did the gym thing this morning, having missed Wednesday. A new machine has not only arrived since the first of the week, but is already in need of repair; the landlord has fixed the air conditioning (say Hurray!), not that it was needed today (say Murphy Lives!), but it's nice to know it will be available for the next hot day.

But that's not what I wanted to write about.

While I was getting ready to leave, another member came in, apparently to settle her monthly; I gather from overheard conversation as I passed the desk that the auto-charge against her plastic had been refused. She was looking slightly upset when she arrived, and progressively more upset as she wrote out the check to cover the fee. By the end of the process, in fact, it was plain that she was holding tears back by sheer will. She even said, somewhat unsteadily, "You know, I should work out, but I've got so much to do at work --" and turned to leave.

Whereupon one of the gym employees grabbed her by the shoulders and more or less dragged her into the changing room, pushed her down on the couch, plunked down beside her and said, "Honey, what's wrong?"

At this point, just personally, I would have slugged her, fought free of the couch, and stomped out. But, then, I mostly cry when I'm furious.

The upset member, being perhaps better socialized than I, mumbled something and burst into tears; the employee hugged her amid exclamations and crooning; I finished doing up my laces and left.

And I'm aghast. I mean, it was perfectly clear that the woman was upset and wanted nothing more than to get to her car and howl in privacy. To instead be forced to cry in front of not only the gym employee, who, for all I know is a friend, but in front of me -- barely a nodding acquaintance -- and the two other women in the room at the time seems to be an affront against the first woman's dignity and clear wishes.

Why, why, why would you do that to someone?

Comments

[janni.livejournal.com]

The complicating thing is, I've known people who, when they're in that state, want someone to follow them, to go after them, to talk to them.

I would have been furious too--if I say I want to be alone, it means I want to be alone--but apparently not everyone works that way. What's hard is to know, for a given person.

[rolanni.livejournal.com]

...and if the person doing the "comforting" is one of the "please follow and comfort me" sorts, even if the upset person means what she says... Oy.

[janni.livejournal.com]

Yeah, it can get ugly fast. Nothing like having "go away" interpreted as "come here."

I've had fights with my Mom over this, when third parties have stormed away in our presence.

[jhetley.livejournal.com]

Now, now, dear, do you want to talk about it?

(Ducks and runs. Hey, you're bigger than me...)

[rolanni.livejournal.com]

Not only bigger, but very likely slower. I do, however, throw a mean rock *g*