In which Rolanni is vain but not glorious

[rolanni]

There are some specific things that bug me about getting older. The idea that some folks seem to have fixed in their brains that, because my hair is grey, I'm a Nice Grandmotherly Lady is one of those things. News flash: I am not a Nice Lady, grandmotherly or otherwise. Even when my hair was brown and long enough to strangle you with, I was not a nice lady. In fact, I may be Even Less Nice now, because I have a lot of work to do, here, and you're standing in my light.

Among the other things that bug me is clothes. Why are all the women's clothes in the United States made for slyph-like thirteen year olds? No, wait, that's always been the case; that's why I've been wearing mens clothes for the last 35 years.

The newest thing to irritate me, though, is hair. After I got rid of the ninja hair, I went to wash-and-wear hair, which suited me fine. Lately, though, I can't seem to get me a haircut that lasts more than two weeks without going funny. You know what I mean -- wings developing out the side, or spikes standing up at the part. Now, granted, for many years my hair was cut by a woman who was a wizard with her scissors, but who lately and sadly has been overcome by Family Difficulties, forcing me to find someone else to cut my hair. This has led to the discovery that, while there are a lot of people in Maine who cut hair, there apparently aren't that many who cut hair well.

Sigh. I really do need a haircut in the worst way, but I can't actually bring myself to get the thing done. If we lived in a warmer part of the world, I'd seriously consider shaving my head. As it is, I could grow it again, and braid it, but even at the rate my hair grows, we're some months from that.

Maybe a snood? That might work.

In other, less cranky, news, it's still snowing here at the Cat Farm -- and I think it's time for me to clear the door again.

Comments

[arkessian.livejournal.com]

I gave up on hairdressers twenty years ago, and have been growing my (very fine, brown/increasingly grey) mop since then. It reaches just below my shoulders, which tells you something about how considerate of it I am (not). I did love my half-inch carrot-dyed crop when I lived somewhere there were hairdressers I trust but that isn't here...

I would kill for my mother's (and two sisters') thick black hair that started going white in their twenties -- and nobody ever accused them of being Nice, Grandmotherly or Ladies. I suspect I'll be a wispy old woman who everyone looks at and thinks: ahhhh... Until I BITE them.

[murphy73.livejournal.com]

I feel your pain. I've been looking for a decent hair cutter for the last five years with no luck.

[kalimeg.livejournal.com]

Sympathy -- my hairdresser moved, and the close ones are Very Bad at cutting. The next move is to grow it long enough for me to cut myself. I am better at it than they are.

Also, I'm letting it grow out to its natural color. If it brings down behavior I don't like, I may have to go back to dyeing it.

[eseme]

I'm afraid I cannot help - I don't trust hairdressers, and don't go to them. My hair could easily strangle someone, possibly more than one someone. I either have a braid I can nearly sit on, or a Bun of Doom.

Hairdressers seem to be like mechanics - you need recommendations to find a good one.

[(Anonymous)]

Mine is a short white-tinged mop. What I've found is most helpful is to demand a haircut that's either done 100% with a razor, or with scissors, but NEVER EVER permit the use of 'thinning shears'. Any yahoo can make a haircut lie okay - for a week or two - using those. It takes skill, however, to make a cut without one. That cut, however, will last.

Good luck!

[1crowdedhour.livejournal.com]

Hairdressers seem to be like mechanics - you need recommendations to find a good one.

Seconding this.

If there isn't anyone with a consistently good haircut whom you could ask to recommend their hairdresser to you (and that isn't grammar, is it? rats.) in the vicinity, perhaps there is a place that teaches people to cut hair? You might find students who have not yet been utterly spoiled.

Anyway, good luck.

[elbales]

A good place to find recommendations for most anything is Yelp. I wish you luck in the search; finding a good hairdresser can be so difficult.

There's always a hat, I guess...?

rural hair

[(Anonymous)]

I,too, have had little luck finding the right hairdresser in rural Maine, so I just cut it myself. Of course, this limits the me to shoulder length blunt cuts. Oh, well. I have a friend who just wears hats most of the time; she has a very nice collection.

[amm-me.livejournal.com]

I have never found hats comfortable, till now. My cousin, who learned to knit 9 months ago and is going crazy with it ( 4 mittens, 6 scarves, 4 sleeveless or short-sleeved tops, 5 hats, 3 pair socks, and that's just what I know about so far) made me a wonderful slouchy beret that is so comfortable that I am happy to wear it for hours indoors or out. Unfortunately, when I do have to take it off, it sort of pulls my hair up into a really bad hair spike-nest. But it's great, really. And it's red. Now all I need is a purple outfit that does not go.

[muirecan.livejournal.com]

Well from previous posts I was under the impression that you are aiming for Dragon Lady, not Nice Grandmother. Or perhaps you are aiming for Boneclaw Mother from the comic Digger. Hmm, yes something along those lines.

And you may or may not be surprised to hear that it can be just as hard for a man to find good haircut. :p

[dmellieon.livejournal.com]

Have you considered going to a barber instead of a “hairstylist”? Since you are just looking for a cut – no coloring, perms and such – you may have better luck with a true barber. They are trained for only scissor, razor and clipper work. When I wore a small afro I found a barber did a far better job with the scissors and clippers than any “hairstylist/beautician”. Hope this helps.
Keep warm and safe with all that hateful snow you are battling at your step!

Hair etc

[(Anonymous)]

I started getting mine cut super-short a few years back - think Jamie Lee Curtis style pixie cut. The barbers can handle that, whether it's with scissors or a clipper. It DOES do funky things occasionally - the gray is taking over and it has TEXTURE. Something my formerly brown straight, straight, straight, fine hair never had before. If the funkiness bothers me, I throw a dime size bit of gel in it and it does what I want. If the haircutter butchers it, I tell myself, it will grow out, more quickly than I realise. Ah - no blow drying or curling iron or anything for me. Too much other stuff to do and I *did* all that back in High School. Oy. Young and Foolish...

One of my sailing buddies promotes fostering your Inner Curmedgeon...she says most women are too nice and get taken advantage of. I like this concept more than Dragon Lady --- though I must say Dragon Lady would be appropos for a writer of the Liaden Universe (tm).

I must apologise for your snow - Maryland was going to get a ton of it but it moved northwards awfully quickly. The Delmarva Penninsula got the brunt and they were Not Used To It. I was just happy it held off until after Xmas.

And may I say, I am loving the Bits of George?
Lauretta@ConstellationBooks, who wants to hug it and pet it and squeeze it and call it George.

[saruby.livejournal.com]

I unfortunately think that the hair thing is part of the aging thing. My hair used to be so straight it looked like I ironed it. Now it is wavy in parts and straight in parts and some hairs have an annoying habit of standing straight up no matter what I do. (note that I am not talking about the hairs that have inexplicably migrated to my chin). I have a really excellent hair guy who works miracles, but my hair is simply evolving and there's only so much that can be done. It is also growing slower which means that problems last longer.

I would ask the hairdresser what experience they have with gray hair (it has a different texture). If they don't have much, try someone else.

[hapaxnym.livejournal.com]

Like others, I long ago gave up on the whole haircut thing, and let my hair grow as it will, which is currently halfway down my back, thick and curly and (as Madeleine L'Engle put it) "hair-colored hair."

It takes me all of five minutes in the morning to brush and braid and bun it up.

Washing is more of a nuisance, but hair really shouldn't be washed more than once a week (after a person is out of their teens, anyhoo) and never ever blow-dried. It dries quite nicely in its braids.

[melita66.livejournal.com]

YMMV. As I'm currently letting my hair grow out (currently below the shoulder blades), I can go an extra day or so between washings, but not a week. My scalp gets too itchy. Climate will also dictate whether you can let your hair dry while braided. In a particularly damp climate, a friend (also with long hair) warned me against leaving hair braided when wet. Her hair had mildewed once.

[baobrien.livejournal.com]

I agree - frequency of washing must depend on your own hair's needs. My formerly reddish hair has grown very thin and fine and starts looking bad on the 2nd day after it is washed.

clothes for adults

[(Anonymous)]

You might try CJ Banks. Their target audience is teachers, but the rest of us working folks can benefit from affordable washable clothes.
Jean E

[zola.livejournal.com]

Try going to a barber. Seriously.

Image

[claire774.livejournal.com]

I agree. Go to a barber. Very good idea. There is no good haircutter here in our small town either so I go to a bad one. BUT I like her as a person. We have very interesting conversations while she massacrees my hair. It's ok. My hair was always awful and now that I'm older it's still dreadful but I never have really cared anyway. Honestly. As for clothes I think you've found the answer on that one. I kind of wear whatever: men's, women's, but can't wear men's jeans. Just not built for that. Or shoes, of course, the feet are too small.

As for niceness. Weren't you the person that posted recently that we should go find a person who means a lot to us and tell that person how much we appreciate him/her? "That's so nice," I thought to myself. I'll try and tell such people the next time I happen to spot one of them. A lot of people, unfortunately, I find extremely annoying. I've been studying Buddhism on and off for years now and find myself to be the worst Buddhist in the world. Well, someone has to stand as a bad example for you all. It's nice to know that the Dalai Lama, Nelson Mandela and Bishop Tutu are there as good examples for humanity. As for humanity it descends from a common ancestor with chimpanzees who are not very nice a lot of the time and also can haul you up onto a branch in a tree by your hair with one hand. Something we luckily can't do not being nearly strong enough. So at least we don't have to worry about that happening to us. Luckily we've been able to invent the snow shovel which should be ocming in rather handy back East right now. Next time I see her I'll tell the hairdresser how much I appreciate her.
C.

[serge-lj.livejournal.com]

I am not a Nice Lady, grandmotherly or otherwise

Not even a grandmotherly Vulcan lady?

Nice hair for nice ladies

[(Anonymous)]

You’re not a nice lady? Really? OK. Well, I can understand bad hair days (weeks even) that might leave even the nicest of tempers indisposed. Unsatisfactory haircuts is the reason I grew my hair again at the age of 50. There’s not much that can go wrong with ‘just an inch off the ends please’.

So. Not even a teeny-weeny bit nice then?

Phyllis

[mardott.livejournal.com]

Nice is as nice does... Whatever that means.

I prefer to think of it as impatience. I've finally gotten old enough to know things, and I'm impatient with the idiots who think I'm a kindly but brain-empty soul. I just don't have time for that nonsense.

Wish I could help with the hairdresser. I've got a great one, but she's in California. Doesn't help you a bit. I like the barber suggestion, though. Real possibilities there, except - are there still barbers around? I mean, do men even go to barbers anymore, or does everyone just go to Supercuts?

Bad haircuts

[(Anonymous)]

A barber or a female stylist with male clients may be more likely to give you a quality cut that doesn't depend on blow-drying and various astronomically priced products to fake a good haircut.

Nancy