Do you love me?/Will you love me forever?

[rolanni]

Bitching and moaning below. If you don't care for that sort of thing, move on.

So, I got a chance to talk to the guy who was chair of the History Department when it was untimely left without a secretary, and who was instrumental in building my day-job description; he's been on sabbatical and today's the first time I've seen him in a good while. He described a very careful and reasoned approach to building the job description, clearly remembered the Department and three programs that the new hire was to serve and firmly rejected the stealth addition of two additional programs as against the spirit of having job description.

This makes me feel somewhat less like an idiot being played for a fish, but long-term it's not going to do a damn' bit of good, Admin having already decided to adopt the Humpty-Dumpty mode -- and besides, that, they own the ball. I'm just really, really tired of waking up every single work day pissed off and ready to break things. Yes, yes, I know: Only I can control my emotions, and if I was a good secretary I would Rise Above and Be Professional. But when the insult is renewed every day. . .

Sigh.

When I grow up, I wanna be a writer. Is that a lot to ask?

Comments

[angela-n-hunt.livejournal.com]

No, it is not a lot to ask. And as one exec admin to another, they is being Professional, and there is knowing when to gut them with your letter opener because they have Crossed The Line.

They've done that. Waking up every day pissed off is a bad thing.

We've just gotta buy more of your books so you can afford health insurance and get the flock out of Dodge there.

[angela-n-hunt.livejournal.com]

*there* Can't type today.

[anghara.livejournal.com]

When I grow up, I wanna be a writer. Is that a lot to ask?

Apparently.

I want the same thing. Please note I did not say I want to be a fricking bestseller in the Twilight mode, or the new Nora Roberts. I want to tell stories which will earn me enough - just enough! - to live on without giving me any delusions of grandeur whatsoever (Because I honestly don't HAVE them...)

But apparently in today's world if you can't get the beancounters interested the rest of it just doesn't matter at all - how good you REALLY are, and how many readers might treasure you, it matters not in the least unless you can hand in your MS stamped with the promise of a tie-in TV series and those readers don't instantly number in the hundreds of thousands.

Sigh.

[attilathepbnun.livejournal.com]

There, there ... If it's any comfort, your book's been quite popular at the library where I work *offers comforting tea and cookies*

[anghara.livejournal.com]

Tea and cookies are nice but the "your book's popular at the library where I work" comment is what really warms the cockles of a writer's heart... THanks for that!

A different take on "rise above and be professional"

[(Anonymous)]

FWIW. I spent 42 years working as an admin professional and I do, sincerely, feel your pain.

Probably the most valuable thing I ever learned was that the same things were going to happen no matter what my attitude toward them. I had no control over most situations but I could usually effect some difference in my attitude.

If you think there’s a shred of Pollyanna or Suzy Sunshine or do-gooder in me, think again. I didn’t give a rip for working on my attitude for “them”. Working on my attitude was about survival and self-preservation. Period. If I had no option but to remain in a situation that was causing me stress and upset, something had to change.

I found that if I took my attention off of the perceived insult and/or injury and instead focused on the mechanics of getting this particular task or situation taken care of, I could put my Virgo head into “solve it” mode instead of the incessant ragging my head tends to do when it’s unhappy. And, as you well know, once Virgos get into “solve it” mode it becomes “solve it with excellence”. Then it kind of becomes a game.

A couple of sayings really helped: “Keep smiling, it confuses your enemies” and “Pain is inevitable; suffering is optional” and “The best revenge is to live well”.

This is offered with all respect and heart-felt appreciation for what you are going through. Good luck. Barb in Bandon

Re: A different take on "rise above and be professional"

[keristor.livejournal.com]

“Keep smiling, it confuses your enemies”

Reminds me of the Moody Blues quote I often think (and say):

"There you go, man, keep as cool as you can. Face piles of trials with smiles: it riles them to believe that you perceive the web they weave. Keep on thinking free!"

(At the end of "In the Beginning", just before it segues into "Lovely to See You").

Re: A different take on "rise above and be professional"

[rolanni.livejournal.com]

"Solve it" mode has worked before, but in this case -- I'm being -- well, not asked, that would imply someone had actually discussed the situation and its potential alteration of my usual work -- um. . . pretended into a situation that is not only so burdened with work that it cannot possibly be done correctly, but I'm also being asked to stuff that's simply crazy (not to mention offensive and time-consuming -- those I can hack). I don't deal well with being required to do crazy things, especially when there are already sane systems in place to handle the flow.

The only "solve its" in this situation are for Admin to own up to the fact that having 15 secretaries support more than 40 departments and programs is being just a little too "lean" and that pretending crazy is sane doesn't make it so.

I leave it as an exercise for the reader, if these things will even be on Admin's radar.

In the meantime, I've acted for self-preservation. Since I'm going to fail anyway, it might as well be on my terms.

Re: A different take on "rise above and be professional"

[(Anonymous)]

In the meantime, I’ve acted for self-preservation. Since I’m going to fail anyway, it might as well be on my terms.

I had this wonderful boss named Bill. Many times, when we were meeting to discuss a crisis, he said, “You know, maybe it was just meant to be. We just don’t know what is intended for us and there might be something wonderful coming down the road that’ll explain why this happened. We have to have faith.”

You are a smart and capable woman. It is clear that you have done careful consideration and that you are taking the actions you feel are correct for you. I will whole-heartedly cheer you from the fan gallery at every opportunity and hold to the premise that the best is yet to come. My most positive thoughts go with you. Barb

[(Anonymous)]

I have been an admin, a teacher, even a principal and the world has not changed a bit regarding bureacracy. In my new position, as in my old, the powers-that-be seem to delight in changing the rules midstream adding additional jobs or tasks and then moving the due dates forward by however much they can get away with at the time. On top of that, in my job we must work with templates, and last go round they changed the template 22 times in a less than two weeks. Choke. One of my colleagues says he tries to be "a leaf on the wind" to survive. I keep trying harder to make the changes and deadlines because I want the finished product to not only work for the students but look decent as well. If I didn't have a house payment, and medical insurance to pay for, I would retire now. What gets me through the day, often, is the wonderful writing that you and Steve have given us in spite of your day jobs. Bless you. Kathy from CA.

Sympathy

[(Anonymous)]

I've certainly been there! You have my sympathy. In the end I just had to quit the job (in fact the entire profession) and find something that wasn't quite so negative in it's effect on me. I will send most positive thoughts towards the fulfilment of your wish. In the meantime I hope that things get much better for you at work soon!
All the best,
Morag in London

whining always aloud

[(Anonymous)]

It is most unfortunate that the various writers' guilds have not put together a co-op insurance group like my local farmers and nursery owners have and we could have you writing full time.

Bummer!

[claire774.livejournal.com]

I've asked this before I think. Is there a better job there at the college that you could apply for and that you would like better? Any teaching openings? Also, aren't there quite a few institutions of higher learning in your area? I'm sure you have thought of all this. The thought of one of our most talented Sci Fi and fantasy authors stuck in a stupid day job at a stupid college is just awful! But then I shouldn't encourage you. Maybe you can think of something.
Sorry,
C. Gus sends his very best barks.

[micheledear.livejournal.com]

First and most importantly, FOR GOSH SAKES DON'T GROW UP!!!!!!!

Ahem.

As for the rest, I have nothing useful to offer, having been in much the same situationm and having had the ability to leave without too severe a negative financial impact. But I DO have a question, which, in the main, is rhetorical.

Why is it that among those in situations simliar to yours, it seems inevitably that those who are very competent and responsible and seek to "make it happen" get shafted, and those who are lackadaisical and incompetent sail through blithely.

This may NOT be the case in your case, 15 for 40 is REDONKULOUS. But I have seen it be the case in other, similar, situations. Just something I sometimes ponder.

When we win the lottery, we'll be setting up a grant situation whereby "certain authors" will be fully funded in perpetuity. Just sayin'. In the meantime, we continue to purchase and repurchase writing of merit. It ain't much, but it's what we got.

As for non-tangible support, we are TOTALLY there for you, and holding space for the possibility that certain heads will be removed from certain VERY DARK PLACES and better decisions will be made. Hopefully, it will have a positive effect.

Can you transfer?

[(Anonymous)]

Hey, I remember this level of angst well (from various jobs) -
it's dangerous. It's raises blood pressure, it mucks with your
immune system and is generally all-around toxic. You need to move.

Especially since it's sounds like this guy doesn't have the
political wherewithal to set your boundaries.

Is there another department or college-within-the-university that
has an opening you could transfer to? Someplace you can get out
from the clutches of those who say 'let's give this extra ball to
Sharon as she juggles so well.'

(I've done this before - several times)
Lauretta@ConstellationBooks

[rolanni.livejournal.com]

Is there another department or college-within-the-university that has an opening you could transfer to?

I am reasonably happy (for values of &c) with the job I was actually hired to do. The trouble is Admin, which fancies itself my "supervisor," which is making idiotic decisions based on Not! Spending! Any! More! Money! on Non! Essentials! (by which they mean things that aren't buildings) -- and which has a reach that is campus-wide.

[(Anonymous)]

Drat.
I guess it's either Stop Caring about Quality or just casually Not Doing the Extra. Tough tough situation.
Lauretta@ConstellationBooks

When I'm in that mood I read...

[(Anonymous)]

...P C Hodgell. What with Jame and Brenwyr, the righteous destruction makes me feel much better.

-mac

Re: When I'm in that mood I read...

[baobrien.livejournal.com]

Totally. "Some things need to be broken"

[baobrien.livejournal.com]

What happens if you just don't deliver something because it's impossible?

Here in the corporate/IT world, my responsibility would be to raise a risk or issue to management like: Completing higher priority work (the normal job) took all of the time available, I have not been able to start the other work yet, so I will not meet that deadline. (I'm not saying we're perfect here, I do waaaay too much overtime - but there's a concept that you manage projects within time available from your people.)

Can your departments and Admin negotiate about what will be done last or not done at all?

I'd hate to see your day job steal more time from you.

[mlplouff.livejournal.com]

In various situations - ranging from needing a sane boss to set priorities, to getting an extremely highly placed executive to pull back from staring at the blue sky - I have found that saying "NO" not only does not work, it sets up opposition and brings endless hassle.

Instead, I learned to say "YES, all I need is..." It's an extremely useful phrase.

Yes, I could do that, though it means I will have to let some other things slide. All I need is for you to get my current boss to agree to that. (Made -that- request go away fast.)

Yes, General, it could be done [to upgrade some thousands of computers on the base to a new version of Windows, overnight]. All it would take is a very organized project plan and approximately 800 skilled folk to do the work. Do you have the 800 IT people ready to train? (This one was especially satisfying. The General realized all by himself that he was being unrealistic. Generals don't like folk saying NO to them.)

It may not be the right tool for your situation, but it is a very useful verbal tool, that can get you out of the middle, and not seen as unhelpful.

Hope it helps! - Maurita in Michigan

[tomato-addict.livejournal.com]

Academia sucks!

For years I went through something similar. I drove myself crazy overachieving and being under-appreciated / abused.

Succeeding in an academic environment is not about being competent. It's about belonging to a clique and sucking up to the right people and hiding your own intelligence so you don't make all of the stupid people around you - especially those with PhD's - feel insecure.

Stop caring about your work performance so much and start baking cookies or something. Look like you're insanely happy and act like you just love everyone around you. Suck up and act like all of the folks around you are just so witty and talented.

If you can't do this kind of stuff - which I definitely couldn't - you may want to start plotting your escape. Make sure you have a back up plan.

Soul sucking work environments really take a toll on your physical and mental health. In the long run, you'll be better off not having this kind of stress in your life.

[(Anonymous)]

After more than a dozen years as an Admin in a big organisation, I’ve just taken ‘early retirement’. No guesses as to why… if you wrote that book on your day job I’D believe you… Phyllis