How to deal with difficult people
Sunday, December 14th, 2008 09:52 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
rolanniAsyouknowbob, I have a day-job. By and large, it's a pretty good day-job; certainly, I've had worse. It's occasionally hard-to-very-hard on the hands, Absolutely Brutal on any Planned Writing Schedule, and sometimes the Scholarly Angst is to drown in, on account of there are more scholars angsting than there are departmental secretaries available to absorb it. Still -- a steady paycheck and health insurance, mostly grown-ups to work for... In this economy, and the one that's lumbering down the street, the day-job is not to be lightly discarded.
Working as I do in a college means that every year or three I get a new chair for one or all of the department/programs that I support. The beginning of this school year saw a changing of the departmental chair and next year there will be a change in a program chair.
The outgoing chair is senior faculty, an intelligent and savvy woman I'm going to miss very much. The incoming chair is...junior faculty, smart as new paint -- and certainly smarter than you -- perky, and extremely political. She spends a lot of time on her hair and on planning what to do with her hair. My experience of her as a faculty member is...not positive.
Now, before we go further -- I am myself a difficult person. I'm opinionated, sarcastic, and, um, old. I have no use for perkiness or for girl-games. Let us, indeed, make it plain that I am actively hostile to girl-games, having bypassed the whole girl thing in order to do the work of surviving childhood as a more-or-less intact human being. I am not a nice old lady who likes to take adorable young faculty members under her wing and mother them. Just. No.
So, the new chair is not inheriting a picnic.
On the plus side, I'm a smart, fast, experienced, good worker, with a lively sense of the ridiculous (OK, maybe not a plus, there)-- and I try to keep the lines of communication with my chairs wide open.
Keeping communication open, of course, means that the person on the other end of the line actually listens, which has not been my experience of the incoming chair. She seems -- and this is subjective, of course, but it's all I've got -- to believe that support staff exist only for the brief moment she needs to issue orders. She has no idea of the work attached to accomplishing her orders -- and doesn't care, which, to a point, she shouldn't, though she should have some realization of the fact that she is not the only fish in my supervisory sea.
Now, the challenge awaiting me is having to deal with an inexperienced chair who will insist that she knows everything, who does not have good listening skills, whose bacon I will have to save on a daily basis, and who will blame me utterly for every failure or misstep. I will need to do this and have enough emotional stamina to go home every night and write, because we have books under contract, and I don't intend to quit writing and Devote Myself to being a secretary.
Coping strategies, please? "Not taking it personally" doesn't appear to be an option, though I'd love to hear from anyone who actually manages that.
Working as I do in a college means that every year or three I get a new chair for one or all of the department/programs that I support. The beginning of this school year saw a changing of the departmental chair and next year there will be a change in a program chair.
The outgoing chair is senior faculty, an intelligent and savvy woman I'm going to miss very much. The incoming chair is...junior faculty, smart as new paint -- and certainly smarter than you -- perky, and extremely political. She spends a lot of time on her hair and on planning what to do with her hair. My experience of her as a faculty member is...not positive.
Now, before we go further -- I am myself a difficult person. I'm opinionated, sarcastic, and, um, old. I have no use for perkiness or for girl-games. Let us, indeed, make it plain that I am actively hostile to girl-games, having bypassed the whole girl thing in order to do the work of surviving childhood as a more-or-less intact human being. I am not a nice old lady who likes to take adorable young faculty members under her wing and mother them. Just. No.
So, the new chair is not inheriting a picnic.
On the plus side, I'm a smart, fast, experienced, good worker, with a lively sense of the ridiculous (OK, maybe not a plus, there)-- and I try to keep the lines of communication with my chairs wide open.
Keeping communication open, of course, means that the person on the other end of the line actually listens, which has not been my experience of the incoming chair. She seems -- and this is subjective, of course, but it's all I've got -- to believe that support staff exist only for the brief moment she needs to issue orders. She has no idea of the work attached to accomplishing her orders -- and doesn't care, which, to a point, she shouldn't, though she should have some realization of the fact that she is not the only fish in my supervisory sea.
Now, the challenge awaiting me is having to deal with an inexperienced chair who will insist that she knows everything, who does not have good listening skills, whose bacon I will have to save on a daily basis, and who will blame me utterly for every failure or misstep. I will need to do this and have enough emotional stamina to go home every night and write, because we have books under contract, and I don't intend to quit writing and Devote Myself to being a secretary.
Coping strategies, please? "Not taking it personally" doesn't appear to be an option, though I'd love to hear from anyone who actually manages that.
How to deal with difficult people
Date: 2008-12-14 07:02 pm (UTC)My suggestions:
1. Whenever she gives you an assignment or work to do, send her an e-mail that breaks down the assignment into logical steps, and gives a timeline for accomplishing each step.
2. Make the above part of a calendar that is available to all the department/program chairs to whom you answer, so that all can see what your work load is and what your timelines and deadlines are for accomplishing your various assignments for the various chairs. This will dash any illusions on the part of the new chair that she commands all your time, and can dump on you whatever she wants, whenever she wants.
3. KEEP NOTES on the interactions you have with her! Whether these are electronic or written doesn't matter; what matters is that you keep them. They don't have to be elaborate, either. This gives you backup in case she tries to fault you for something that is not your responsibility or that you did not do. If she does accuse you of something for which you are not responsible, make sure that the administrator above her is made aware of it. My boss has a bad memory due to fibromyalgia, and once accused me of lying to her about something; I went back to my notes on that issue, and sent her an e-mail outlining what I had told her and when, and copied HER boss. She never tried that again.
3.Don't try to save her from herself, especially when it comes to interacting with other faculty and the administration. It will be a waste of your time and energy. Let her fall on her face; it is the only way she will learn how to interact responsibly with other staff and faculty.
4. Read the column by Jack and Suzy Welch on avoiding office politics in the Dec. 22, 2008 issue of Business Week. They have some valid points about avoiding back-stabbing, gossiping, and other forms of negative office behavior. That said, if there are any other senior faculty or chairs who have nothing to lose when it comes to this new chair, they could prove to be valuable allies in deflecting any negativity that she tends to spread or bestow on those she perceive to be below her.
5. Above all (and at times this will be the hardest thing to do), remain professional and calm, even in the heat of her worst pettiness. It might help to try to visualize or construct some possible situations ahead of time, and compose some responses that you can use when words might otherwise fail you.
Re: How to deal with difficult people
Date: 2008-12-14 09:34 pm (UTC)