The temporal murders

[rolanni]

In the last week, we here at the Confusion factory have killed two-and-a-half clocks.

The first victim was the atomic clock in the kitchen. Steve approached the wall where it had been leaning since being taken down for the painters. The clock emitted a high-pitched scream, the time numerals straight-lined, and…that’s all she wrote. Yes, I changed the batteries. Yes, we moved it to another location. Nothing works; she remains dead, Jim.

The second victim is the new bedroom clock with the double alarms — barely three months old. Last night at 9:35 p.m., the clock insisted it was 12:45 a.m. I reset it manually and thought that was that. The first alarm rang this morning at 6:07 a.m., according to it, and I took my medicine. The second alarm rang at 7:07 a.m., also according to it, which is when we theoretically get up, but I was still sleepy, and Steve was snoring, so I slapped the thing off and went back to sleep.

…some time later, I woke up to the sound of the microwave timer being set. Steve slipped back into bed and said, “The clock’s wrong.” I looked — “Eight-eighteen? That seems right.” “Maybe, but the (other) clock in the kitchen says it’s six-forty.”

So! The bedroom clock has now been unplugged and is sitting in the living room. I hope, but don’t actually believe, that it will have regained its mind by the time I plug it back in.

And then. . .there’s the half-murder.

Steve’s Clock — a genuine Howard Miller wind-up clock, with Westminster Chimes — also had to come down for the painters. We moved it from the living room to the top of the bureau in the bedroom, happy that it’s a combo wall/mantlepiece clock. For several days, it kept time and chimed as it ought. In fact, it has continued throughout to keep the correct time.

What went wrong on it. . .where the chimes. They began to become. . .confused of purpose. They rang at the correct moment, but in sequences and cadences that were definitely not Westminster Chime sequences, nor yet any of the sequences we had grown accustomed to hearing every quarter hour over the last dozen years. It began delivering little quarter-hour jazz improvs of Westminster Chimes, growing more and more confused until we finally stopped the clock entirely.

So there you have it. The victims: a mechanical clock, a plug-in clock, a battery-operated clock.

Temporally, things are pretty dire, here. We only have six more clocks — the stove clock, the microwave clock, the weather station clock, the computer clocks, and one poor LL Bean traveling alarm clock.

I know we’ve been raising a lot of energy lately, but I hadn’t thought we were in the lethal range…

Originally published at Sharon Lee, Writer. You can comment here or there.

Comments

[catlinye-maker.livejournal.com]

At least the mechanical clock should be amenable to repairs, should you find an antique clock repairman in your travels.

[lagilman]

Clearly, it 'twas the PAINTERS! What sort of alien disrupts time?

[jessie-c.livejournal.com]

[(Anonymous)]

And here I was going to make a remark about 'killing time' but you threw in a time lord. Pssht.

Meanwhile --- Sharon I think a couple new verses to "The Grandfather
Clock" need to be written. :) And maybe a new chorus...
Lauretta@ConstellationBooks

[attilathepbnun.livejournal.com]

*giggles self off chair*

[melita66.livejournal.com]

Perhaps try opening up the cases and blowing out any dust or other particles. I've always been afraid to do that to my computers--hey, if they're working, why disturb them? They might quit working!

[6-penny.livejournal.com]

My grandfather did the same thing. It needed cleaning. Fortunately there is a good clock repairman on Cape Cod who does house calls.
This time it was doing random quarters - including 5 or more which was disconcerting in the middle of the night. The last time it did this - about 20 years ago at noon it went to continuous strike!

As it is now rather elderly I have it cleaned every couple of years.

[saruby.livejournal.com]

I'm thinking "The Temporal Murders" sounds like a great title. (book, not blog entry)

Clocks

[claire774.livejournal.com]

That's a really strange story about the clocks. Sorry about that special one with the chimes.

I hope there isn't a bad clock killing spirit that came into the house with the painters. It's possible that one of them is a clock killer. Very strange cause no other tech has been bothered besides the clocks.

According to author Jim Butcher wizards and I assume witches disrupt all new technologies even electric lights and have to use candles at night.

Its possible that you are supposedto live with less clocks for some reason.

C.

[kalilama.livejournal.com]

One of the eccentricities of my childhood was the very nice old dining room clock that kept perfect time, but one day started chiming speedy little riffs at random moments. My parents tsk-tsked occasionally, but never got it fixed. They weren't usually helpless in the presence of misbehaving inanimate objects, but they just gave up on that clock. Puzzled me.